


Cherry Tree Bridge

by Silvex



Series: Labyrinths of Life [2]
Category: Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Apocalypse, Canonical Character Death, Fog, Gen, Grief/Mourning, One-Sided Attraction, Persona 3 Spoilers, Persona 4 Spoilers, Recovered Memories, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-10-11 11:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17446499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvex/pseuds/Silvex
Summary: Just because you remember overcoming a trial, that doesn't mean the ones after are any easier. Just because you still have friends, that doesn't mean that losing one hurts any less. Just because you've faced certain death once before, that doesn't mean you want to do it again.Sometimes, though, you have to do it anyway.





	1. Hazy Memories

It all started when Yuki Hamuko woke up on the twenty-first of September with a different Persona.

Now, her having a different Persona, in and of itself, was not strange. Yuki Hamuko was a Wild Card, someone blessed with the ability to use countless Personas, all thanks to the bonds she shared with others. It was the changed Persona itself that was different.

Normally, Hamuko had several Personas rotating through her headspace, though there were always two that could not be removed, her initial Personas. Thanatos, the representative of her Death Arcana, was the same as always- powerful and vicious, though somewhat more controllable than he had been the night before. Not like that was saying much with Thanatos. All she could really do was point him at the enemy and hope for the best.

The other one, however… The first Persona she’d ever summoned, Orpheus, was rather weak, only being able to send out the smallest of flames, and had long been relegated to the position of musical accompaniment.

Orpheus Telos, however, could use any spell Hamuko felt like, resisted everything, and was immensely powerful, to boot. Very, very different to how things had been yesterday.

This, naturally, was a source of great confusion, and so she checked on the state of the rest of her mind. More specifically, her Social Links. Her Death, Fool and Moon Links were all maxed out, the Justice Link had ranked up twice, and, if the whispers of her bonds were correct, she and Shinjiro were dating now. Which she didn’t really mind, she liked him a lot, but it was really weird, because it felt like something that she probably should remember.

So that wasn’t normal, either. Next, she checked her calendar, just to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. Nope. Still the twenty-first.

...And the worst thing? She couldn’t even be sure that this was the weirdest thing that had ever happened to her.

The perils of leading an interesting life. Still, she decided to go along with it, and see where it would lead.

* * *

  
  


On the twenty-second of September, Hamuko was sure she could get used to all the strange changes that life had suddenly thrown at her. If only because she thought she’d seen them all, and they all seemed to be good ones. Ken and Shinji were more at-ease with each other, Mitsuru and Yukari seemed to be getting along just the slightest bit better, and the dorm itself seemed to have an odd air of harmony.

Life was good. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t try to make it better, starting with a humorous birthday gift for Akihiko.

It wasn’t even all that impractical- since he didn’t seem able to control his powers, rubber gloves were just the perfect thing. And Shinji found it funny, which she was taking as a win.

It turned out that neither of them remembered when, exactly, their relationship had taken on a romantic nature, but neither of them were really complaining, either. Honestly, what was worse was the fact that everyone else had figured it out before they did. Including Akihiko. Who won the betting pool.

Admittedly, he’d had the advantage of being the only one who knew beforehand that Shinji returned Hamuko’s feelings, but the fact that he’d put money on it still annoyed her, more than a day later.

This may or may not have been the other part of the reason for the rubber gloves.

* * *

  
  


On the twenty-third of September, Hamuko decided to take her unwittingly-acquired boyfriend out on their first actual date. Or, at least, the first one that they admitted was a date.

“These past few days have been really weird, huh?” Reflexively, she closed her fist to prevent herself from accidentally setting something on fire. She didn’t know where that magic had come from, but it didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. “I mean, I know normal’s really relative with us, but…”

“No, I agree. It’s just been… strange… ever since the typhoon.”

“It’s better though, right? I mean, I wouldn’t say Ken-kun likes you now, that’d imply he didn’t before, but…” She snuggled closer to him, not caring one bit that they were in public. “But you like this, right?”

“Would I be sitting here right now if I didn’t?”

“You don’t particularly like going to Tartarus, and yet you still follow the rest of us out every week.”

“If I didn’t, you’d all probably do something to get yourselves killed. And I ain’t gonna let that happen. Not to the kid, not to Aki, and definitely not to you.” Probably the only romantic gesture she was going to get out of him all day. And that was fine. Just last week she’d been despairing of ever getting him to notice her.

“I assume, if anything happens to Junpei, we can just leave him to his fate?”

“If Iori gets himself into that kind of trouble, he probably did something to deserve it.” Well… she couldn’t exactly argue with that. Particularly when she didn’t want to risk saying anything that would make today any less perfect.

* * *

  
  


On the twenty-fourth of September, Hamuko decided that SEES had had enough of a break and dragged them all to Tartarus.

The first thing she did, upon arrival, was test out her true Personas. Thanatos was now controllable and Orpheus Telos was utterly godlike. The power of her Resolved Persona was such that it allowed her to channel magic without summoning- any kind of magic, anytime.

Not that she used it. Too unpredictable. For all she knew, if she asked for a simple Agi spell, she could end up accidentally using a Megidolaon. Which would be bad. And Theo would… well, he wouldn’t laugh at her if she complained, but his sisters certainly would.

...Wait… since when had she met Theo’s sisters? For as long as she could remember, it had been just him and Igor…

She shook it off. Not important right now. Something to ask later. Likely when she went to fuse the Ultimate Personas now available to her, even if she didn’t think she’d ever need them, with this kind of power. And, while she was there, she could ask why Orpheus had changed.

...Not just Orpheus, apparently. Because she wasn’t sure what Persona Akihiko had just summoned, but it was definitely not Polydeuces. And given that he seemed really confused about it, she doubted she’d be getting any answers from him, either.

* * *

  
  


On the twenty-fifth of September, Yuki Hamuko paid a visit to the Velvet Room, and remembered the Yasogami High Labyrinths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Okay, so this techically doesn't have a Labyrinth in it... and Hamuko's only definitively the focal point for, like, two chapters... but it still counts, right?
> 
> The name for this story comes from the EOII OST, and was picked because it had the perfect meaning- this story exists to bridge the other two together, and as for the cherry tree part... well, the tags should probably say it all.
> 
> This is probably going to be the story I work on when I just want everything to hurt.


	2. The Second Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new normal. In which things start to settle down, at least for the time being.

“Shinji, I swear, you care more about that dog than me,” Hamuko grumbled, watching Shinjiro giving Koromaru probably the tastiest-looking dog food she’d ever seen. “I actually think you cook more for Koro-chan than you do for yourself.”

“Hey, you can’t say no to him, either,” Not entirely untrue, but she at least tried to resist, most of the time. Even if it all added up to the same thing, in the end.

“Well, he’s basically a fluffy version of my initial Personas,” She pointed out. “And… you know… I’ve always wanted a pet.” Not that the various relatives she’d been bounced between her whole life appreciated that. And Koromaru really was more attached to Shinji than anyone else. Probably because he fed him.

“...Anything happens to me, he’s yours.”

“You know, with how smart he is, that’s really more something for him to decide. Also, if you could just... not talk about that stuff, that’d be great.” Sure, it was possible. Had anyone asked her back during the festival, she’d even say it was likely. But that didn’t mean she particularly wanted to think about it.

Koromaru simply continued to eat his food.

“...Hamuko, we fight Shadows for a living. It was going to come up eventually.” Particularly because the only ones they definitely knew would live past the Dark Hour were Ken, Koromaru, Mitsuru, and Yukari.

Not that any of those four let themselves be reckless enough to jeopardize that. Three of them were the responsible ones, and the fourth was a dog. Basic survival instinct could be a pretty useful thing, no matter how many people seemed to lack it.

“Well, yeah, but, as Pharos keeps being thoughtful enough to remind me, there’s still a week to go before the full moon. So it’s really not the time to be worrying about that. Let’s just take the time to actually enjoy ourselves.” And, well, even once the full moon came, she was sure it’d be fine. She had Orpheus Telos, after all.

As long as she had that Persona, she could do anything.

* * *

  
  


“You know, I’m sort of jealous,” Junpei admitted. Hamuko rolled her eyes.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Well, I mean, you’ve got all the Personas you could ever want, Orpheus Telos is really powerful, everyone at school seems to like you, and you and Shinjiro-senpai…”

“...Is this about Chidori-san?” Because she couldn’t really see a reason for this to get brought up again. And she was all that he’d talk about, these days. It was kind of sweet, but it got annoying eventually.

It also helped that she had Surt to lean on, even if the odds of him seeing use in battle were rather slim.

“Yeah, she just… started acting really cold all of a sudden. Telling me to go away and stuff. I don’t even know why.”

“Well, it seems that there’s two options here. Either she doesn’t like you, or she really does.”

“Huh? But why would she be acting like that if she really liked me?” Well, some futures might have been scary for her to look at, but she could at least do this much.

“Well, her Persona, Medea, is of the Hanged Man Arcana. I’m not sure if she has a different Social Arcana or not, but the Hanged Man can represent both entrapment and self-sacrifice. Like if, say, she wanted to be with you, but didn’t think that she deserves it, and so gives up her own chance at happiness in hope that she won’t hurt you. Trust me, I have experience with that.”

“...You really think so?”

“Well, it’s possible, but we’ll never know for certain if you stop trying. I mean, weren’t you just saying that she was your Destined Partner last week?”

“Yeah, well… last week was weird.”

“I’m not denying that. I’m just saying… there really is nothing worse than not knowing.”

“...I guess you’re right. Actually, I’ll go see her right now!” And with that, Hurricane Junpei sped out the door.

Hamuko hoped she didn’t grow to regret this.

* * *

  
  


The first of October was the last day that SEES would go to Tartarus in that lunar cycle. Technically, they didn’t need to go then- there was nobody trapped, and they’d reached the barrier- but Hamuko considered it important that the ones who’d found their resolve get properly used to their new levels of power. There was, after all, a difference between desperately climbing a clock tower and actually taking the time to explore your abilities.

That a small boy wearing striped pajamas would be standing in the lobby was simultaneously different from every previous trip, and no surprise at all. She’d grown used to Pharos popping up at the strangest of moments, even if he still didn’t show up outside the Dark Hour.

“...You know there’s no cheer squad anymore, right?” Hamuko checked. The kid nodded, his eyes still the same Shadow blue. Because there was no way she could believe he was anything else, by this point. Not after they’d met Teddie.

Teddie and Pharos shared the same blue eyes. Rei’s Shadow and the Velvet Room siblings had eyes of gold. She wondered if any red-eyed Shadows existed, to complete the set.

“I’m always with you, remember? And if I’m going to be here either way, I may as well do something to help, even if it’s just scouting ahead. Don’t worry, the Shadows won’t bother me.”

Of course they wouldn’t. And, honestly speaking, Pharos made for better company than Thanatos any day.

“Well, it’s not like I can stop you…” And it wasn’t like he’d be in any danger, with the powers she could draw upon.

...Actually, that gave her an idea…

* * *

  
  


Hamuko stood in front of the barrier that was preventing them from progressing farther up the tower, Evoker in hand.

“You really think this is a good idea?” Shinjiro asked. “Seriously, we can wait a few more days.”

“Honestly? I just want to see if I can do it,” She admitted. “And even if it does work, it’ll be pretty draining, so it’s mostly just to end off the night…”

“I highly recommend you all step back,” Pharos suggested. “I don’t think she’ll back down.”

“She is far too stubborn for her own good,” Mitsuru agreed. Hamuko would protest, if it weren’t entirely correct.

Instead, she simply raised her Evoker to her temple, and fired. “Orpheus Telos!”

The biggest benefit of having a Persona that could use every element was the ability to attack using every element at once. And while she was less practiced at it than Naoto… had been? Would be? A combination of Agidyne, Bufudyne, Garudyne, Ziodyne, Hamaon, Mudoon, and Megidolaon tended to turn things into a fine paste, if they were lucky.

The combination of overly-powerful magic simply bounced off the barrier, before blowing a hole in Tartarus the size of a house.

And then the sound of rattling chains started up. Apparently, the Reaper had not been happy about the large explosion.

Hamuko sighed, “Where’s a piston when you need one?” While Yukari and Mitsuru quickly worked to activate the Access Point.

Suffice to say, she never tried that again, and for more reasons than simply no longer having the correct Persona on hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more lighthearted stuff before everyone starts dying and being depressed. Also, Hamuko never taking on the Reaper with Orpheus Telos. Because that just seems like a really bad idea, at least with others around. Too much collateral.


	3. Velvet Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth. Elizabeth, no. What are you doing.

Hamuko was used to randomly being pulled into the Velvet Room in her dreams. Mostly, it was simply because Igor wanted to discuss something, or Theo really, really couldn't wait for her next visit, or she'd summoned a too-powerful Persona and ended up knocking herself unconscious. Admittedly, the last one had only taken her to the strange location outside mundane reality the once, but that was besides the point. The fact was, the Velvet Room was not a strange place for her to be at night.

Her friends being in the Velvet Room with her was... not unprecedented, but nor was it expected. They'd all believed that the deal with the Labyrinths was a one-time thing, and it certainly didn't look like time was broken again. She hoped.

She also hadn't encountered Elizabeth since the incident, but that was fine with her, and it had barely been two weeks, anyway. It was too much to hope that she'd just fade out of their lives entirely, wasn't it.

"Welcome to the Velvet Room," She stated, twirling around in that velvet blue outfit that was much less likely to invoke panic attacks than her nurse outfit was, because at least she wasn't trying to shove random chemicals in you when wearing her normal outfit. Megidolaon you all the way to next week, yes. Experimental medicines, no. Which was good, because Hamuko got enough of that from Edogawa when she was sick.

"I apologize for dragging all of you from your pleasant dreams," Theo spoke up, at least trying to establish some semblance of relative normalcy in the madroom where new Personas were created. "However, my sister had an idea, and I am sure you all know how... difficult it can be to dissuade her."

To be fair to Elizabeth, nobody had realized that the whole incident with Zeus could even happen. But she called herself a Ruler of Power- she should have known better.

"Be better if we knew what this even was," Shinjiro pointed out. "I'm not sure how this place normally looks, but I sure as hell don't remember a dance floor."

"I'm not sure you could even fit that in the elevator... or the fortunetelling booth..." Yukari mused. "...Wait. I see where this is going, and I don't think I like it."

Hamuko didn't think she liked it, either. If only because she wasn't sure if anyone here actually knew how to dance. "...Please tell me this isn't a dance party."

Theo sighed. "I apologize, Hamuko-sama, but I have always been taught not to lie."

"Though, of course, a real party must have as many guests as possible!" She still wasn't sure where those siblings were getting their knowledge of the human world, unless a past Guest had taken up trolling them. Given the way both she and Souji acted at times, Hamuko wouldn't be surprised. "Therefore, I have taken the liberty of inviting our sisters, as well!"

And that was how Hamuko met the present-day version of Margaret, as well as a young girl closer to Ken's age than hers named Lavenza. As well as discovering that the siblings' taste in human fashion was... even more questionable than she'd ever realized. Suffice to say, she wasn't touching any of the outfits they'd picked out for her with a ten-foot pole.

Except for the headphones. Those were nice. She'd have to go pick them up for herself in reality.

* * *

 

 

"So, you're telling me this is the kind of outfit you all like?" Hamuko wasn't sure why she was surprised.

"Yes," Mitsuru replied. "These are actually tasteful."

"Look, I'm not the one who designed those! Really, you should be questioning Officer Kurosawa on why he had our swimwear in the first place..."

"Trust me," The longer-haired redhead stated, the air temperature dropping despite the fact that neither of them were physically there, "I intend to."

"Hey, I just bought the stuff! And they did defend us better than you'd expect, didn't they!?"

Yukari sighed. "You'd think by now she'd realize we all have different ideas about practical armor." Shinjiro shook his head.

"Oh, she knows. She just doesn't care. Why do you think I get out of wearing those things now?"

"I do not understand," Aigis said. "What changed that allowed you to evade Hamuko-san's love of dressing up?"

Junpei groaned. "We'll explain later..."

* * *

 

 

 

Pharos paused to observe the... dance party. As much as one could call it that when most of them were just sitting to the side, praying that they would not get called up. The two younger Velvet girls seemed to most enjoy it, while the rest simply seemed willing to put up with it for one night. And even then, only if Hamuko went to the Room at some point in the future to pick up their preferred outfits.

The only exceptions were himself- hidden in a corner, so nobody could see him, just like in a Shadow nest, in the hopes that Elizabeth would not see him and pull him on stage, and Shinjiro, who seemed intent on pretending that nothing aside from himself existed, but kept failing because he had a very cuddly girlfriend. And even then, he only bothered to show the barest minimum of affection, when in front of everyone.

He knew that he wasn't a normal human being. He apparently smelled like a Shadow, and he managed to catch enough of Hamuko's thought processes to understand that he probably was one, no matter how little he wanted to be. And he sensed things differently than others did, and the one time Nanako touched his hand she'd said he was really cold. So he had to assume that they didn't sense what he did.

And maybe that was for the best, with how most tended to flinch away from the mere possibility. And while Pharos wasn't entirely sure who had taught him, he knew he had always been told that fate could not be changed. So worrying about it wouldn't solve anything.

It made him upset, though. Because if they didn't know about the rapidly-approaching bad times, how would any of them know to cherish what little good they had left? And he still wasn't sure whether he should tell them or not, though he knew if he was going to, it would have to be soon. The next Dark Hour at the latest.

And then the small Velvet girl noticed him and dragged him onstage despite his best attempt at stealth, so he soon had other things to think about.

* * *

 

 

 

Hamuko wasn't sure when Pharos had shown up. Honestly, she had stopped keeping track of him a long time ago- Pharos was Pharos, and the strange Shadow boy had never done anything to hurt anyone, so she could probably trust him not to make too big of a mess on the dance floor. Not that she cared. She wasn't going back up on stage anyway.

It wasn't that she didn't like dancing. It was just footwork, like you needed to be good at to win a tennis match or a tricky fight in Tartarus. But the Velvet Room simply wasn't the right place, and now just wasn't the right time. And as much as Theo insisted that they put on a good show for his younger sister, who was adorable enough that she didn't really think on how they were never introduced before now, that just made her all the less likely, no matter how much more confident she'd been since her resolution. Big shows simply weren't her style.

Besides, she still got that odd feeling from Shinji- like he'd disappear if she didn't hug him enough- and that was far more important than any dance party. If Elizabeth complained, she'd just point out that she still owed them after Zeus. She didn't even know what that invitation was good for... a world of Yggdrasil trees, filled with magic, monsters, and money? Such a thing was far too strange to actually exist, and she lived in the Dark Hour just as much as how things were normally meant to be, it felt like.

Then again, she knew better than to question things just because they seemed impossible. After the Wild Card, the Velvet Room, and friendly blue-eyed Shadows, even basic metaphysics seemed to be more of a suggestion.

Either way, she didn't think much of Pharos being at the party, because he honestly always seemed to show up whenever reality went strange. It was one of those constants, like Kanji's crush on Naoto, or Akihiko zapping random things without seeming to notice. It was just the way things were.

Satisfied that her odd little friend wouldn't break anything, Hamuko decided to give Shinji another hug. Just to be absolutely sure he wouldn't vanish when she wasn't looking, because as much as things might have been better now, just the names of their Personas was enough to make her the slightest bit nervous.

"Hamuko, please, not in front of the new blue person."

"Not like she doesn't know. And besides, what's the worst that could happen?" Immediately, Pharos teleported in front of them.

"Lavenza and Yukari have been telling me a lot about dance," He started. Already, Hamuko was starting to regret tempting fate like that. "Including the idea of dancing with other people. They say you're supposed to dance with someone you love."

"Not these kinds of songs," Hamuko pointed out, wondering why the kid couldn't just come out monthly like he did before. Sure, it was nice to see him acting like a semi-normal kid, but he only ever seemed to do it when it'd be stressful, these days. Or cost her sleep. Admittedly, since he never came out in 'normal' reality the second one was kind of a given, but this hadn't been a very restful year to begin with. Too much to do, too many Social Links to form and nurture, not enough time.

"So, if the song were changed to something else, the two of you would dance together?" Pharos suggested.

"...Nanako-chan was a horrible influence."

Shinjiro snorted. "You say that like he didn't pick any of that up from you. You're too much, sometimes."

"You know you love me."

"God only knows why..." Yet, before they could settle back into this somewhat familiar territory, where if Hamuko were careful she could navigate her way to all the hugs she could want, the Shadow boy vanished.

"...He's gonna change the songs, isn't he?"

"I still ain't going up there."

"Okay, we can just watch Elizabeth try to pair people up instead. That should be fun." Especially since this was a dream, and they didn't have to worry about anyone actually getting blown up, frozen, or electrocuted.

Now, the death glares from the people who were awkwardly forced to pair up while the ones the song had been meant for cuddled in the corner might have been less enjoyable, but they'd get over it. Eventually.

* * *

 

 

 

On the third of October, everyone woke up really, really early due to Igor finally deciding to see what was keeping his assistants so busy, and drawing the line at using a place between dream and reality, mind and matter to host a dance party. Hamuko would have to thank him for that later, once she went to pick up the clothes everyone wanted to actually own. And her new headphones.

"So... I take it last night actually happened?" Junpei checked. "...Hamu-tan, you're gonna get me my new shirt today, right?"

Hamuko threw a snowball at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...I'm not quite sure where this came from, actually. This was originally not meant to happen.
> 
> The only alternative outfits from P3P that SEES can agree looks good are the butler outfits. And even then, most of them don't think it's a good idea to wear them to Tartarus. Certainly, none of them are going to wear their dance outfits to Tartarus- they know better. Those headphones are pretty hard to replace!
> 
> Just try to imagine Nanako being a bad influence on somebody. You probably can't. Hamuko just doesn't want to admit that cute Shadow kid is picking up bad habits from her, like an inability to take no for an answer.


	4. The Fourth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Memento Mori'. Remember that you are mortal. Some people forget that fact, while others never do.
> 
> Shinjiro chats with Death and the dying, and still nothing seems to change. Self-fulfilling prophecies are sort of a bitch like that.

Time travel was funny, when you thought about it hard enough. Especially when you were from the past and dealing with a future created by your exploits. Particularly when you now knew that said exploits were going to succeed.

It wasn’t entirely guaranteed, of course. But SEES had a nice, long record of success, listing back all the way to spring, when Hamuko had awakened to two Personas at once and promptly turned the Arcana Magician into only so much Shadow goop.

...Well, okay, it was probably a good bit more complicated than that. But all Shinjiro had to go on from that night was Aki admitting how he’d gotten himself injured and Hamuko nervously changing the subject every time it was brought up, and he’d never felt the need to ask further. They were both clearly fine now- Hamuko had even taken to randomly summoning Thanatos in battle, just to prove that she could without losing control- so what was the point? What mattered was that there was a chain of successes that looked like it was only going to continue, and that it was far too easy for everyone to believe it’d all work out.

The illusion, for Shinjiro, was shattered by a small child poking his cheek with fingers that were far, far colder than they had any right to be. Carefully moving so he didn’t wake Hamuko- she didn’t get nearly enough sleep as it was- he sat up and turned to face the annoyance. “What do you want, Pharos?”

“I- I wish to speak with you about something,” The boy stated, nervously twisting his sleeves. “It’s… important.” Well, yes, he’d hope so, given that it was now Dark Hour and the full moon was tomorrow. Not exactly the best time to be awake.

“Well, what is it?” He’d never be able to forget it. The way Pharos’ bright blue eyes darted towards the ground, an actual look of sorrow on his face. He hadn’t even known Pharos could look sad.

It made sense, though. Whatever Pharos was, in the end, he was still just a kid. And some things just weren’t easy to say. He would know.

“You see, Shinjiro-san… well… there’s really no good way for me to put this…” The child bit his lip, before finally looking to meet Shinjiro’s gaze. “You’re going to die tomorrow.”

“...You’re joking, right?” Sure, he’d never expected to live a long life, but…

“Would I joke about something like this?” The- okay, if he was serious about this, he couldn’t be anything but a Shadow- pointed out. “You make Hamuko happy. And I like it when she’s happy. Her soul just… lights up, and becomes a much nicer place. I-I’d like to thank you for that. But I can sense the fates, and what they say about you… you’ve got until the next Dark Hour, at the latest. And fate… isn’t really something that can be easily changed, if at all.”

“Not even pretending to be normal anymore, huh, kid?”

“I don’t really see the point of that, at a time like this,” Pharos admitted. “And I don’t really know why I’m telling you this, either- I could offer to get it over with now, and painlessly, because Thanatos is the god of peaceful death, and he’s just as much a part of me as he is of her, but something tells me you wouldn’t accept.”

“You’d be right about that.” It was funny. A few months ago, Shinjiro would have taken Pharos’ offer without a second thought. A few weeks ago, and he might still have given it serious consideration.

But it hadn’t happened then. No, it had to wait until he was actually sort of happy with the way his life was turning out, because fate just loved screwing him over like that.

Besides, if he did listen, and let himself die there and then, when Hamuko woke up, the first thing she saw would be… no, she didn’t deserve that.

“I see… I- I’m sorry for wasting your time. I’ll be going now.” And immediately after the last word had left his lips, Pharos was gone, along with the Dark Hour. Given his record of appearances, Shinjiro doubted he’d be seeing him again- possibly ever, if what he’d said was true. And given that he’d just gotten a pretty good idea of what, exactly, that kid was, it unfortunately wouldn’t surprise him.

For a few minutes, he simply sat there, trying to come to terms with the recent conversation, and all the implications thereof. With a lack of any real results, because he wasn’t even sure where to start. Eventually, he decided to just go back to sleep and hope that he’d forget about it by morning so he didn’t have to think about it, and be glad that he wasn’t part of the Inaba crew.

“...Shinji…? Is something wrong?” Except, of course, for the fact that Hamuko chose that exact moment to wake up, despite Shinjiro’s attempts to avoid it.

“It’s nothing,” He muttered, immediately hating himself for it. Quite possibly his last twenty-five hours of life, and the first thing he did was lie to his girlfriend. Wonderful.

He wasn’t sure if she’d noticed, either. And if she didn’t call him out on it, he’d always be wondering, because after everything she’d hidden about the nature of her own abilities, it was safe to say she was better at keeping secrets than just about anyone.

“You sure?” She asked, and somehow that simple concern was worse than any kind of accusation. She lifted her hand, and a few small flames licked at her fingertips.

“...You set my bed on fire, and I’m kicking you out. I don’t care how late it is.” Sure, there wasn’t anything important in the room- even the somehow-magical paperwhites on his desk would be easily replaced- and she likely wouldn’t let it get that bad, but it was best not to let her get into any more bad habits.

“Fine…” Hamuko didn’t stop channeling, but the magical fire twisted and changed into golden light, which still wreathed her hand, and was still probably something Shinjiro didn’t want to touch if he wanted to keep his fingers. “Really, though, are you sure you’re okay? It’s just- something doesn’t feel right.”

“And you’re sure that’s not because the Dark Hour just ended?” He checked. Hamuko’s definition of normal certainly didn’t match any dictionary he’d ever read, though she’d never told him exactly what it was, and he figured he was better off not knowing. Given how the creepy kid that could apparently see his lifespan was somehow attached to her, it seemed like a good call.

“I’m sure! I know what the Dark Hour feels like, I’ve lived it longer than just about anyone!” Shinjiro was tempted to point out that she’d had a bedtime for most of it, but decided against provoking her while she had a Hama spell already charged up. “I- I have to be sure, okay? I don’t- I don’t want anything to happen.”

“Well, it’d probably help if you went back to sleep and didn’t waste your energy on magic lights,” He suggested. “Don’t worry, it’ll be just fine.” It’d hurt, but she’d have to get over him eventually, right? Right.

If the kid was wrong, and he lived through the day, it certainly couldn’t hurt to tell her that. And, if he really was inevitably going to leave her, it was the least he could do to keep her happy until then.

“...Okay.” The light surrounding Hamuko’s hand flickered and disappeared, giving Shinjiro his only warning before she latched onto him again. Which admittedly kind of helped, even if he still felt terrible about lying to her.

That was also about the same time he realized the date. Sunday, October fourth. It was like fate had decided to just sit to the side and taunt him.

Given that he’d befriended an actual god? Maybe it had.

* * *

  
  


It was too much to hope that he’d forget about it by morning. But, then, it was one of those things that would be almost impossible to forget, unless one’s life were filled with so many strange things it didn’t even register, and he didn’t think he was quite there yet. It sort of sucked, because the strange boy’s words were the kind of thing Shinjiro would really rather forget.

But maybe the kid was wrong. As soon as that thought came up, though, he dismissed it. Pharos was mysterious, secretive, and all-around creepy, but from what he could tell, everything the little Shadow said did eventually come true, in some form or another. No sense grabbing onto a vain hope like that.

Still, despite everything, the start of the day seemed… almost normal. Just about the only hint that there’d be an operation later was the note now taped to the staircase, telling them that, if they had healing spells, to actually use them. There was probably a story there. He even thought he might know what it was. But, for the most part, it seemed like the start of just another day.

“Hey, Shinji, are you okay?” He hadn’t expected Aki to notice. Or, at least, not so quickly. But they’d known each other long enough that it didn’t come as much of a surprise.

“Why does everyone keep asking that? And don’t bring up the date, I’ve noticed.”

“Because, if we don’t ask, you’ll just end up stewing in your misery until we have another crisis to deal with?” Hamuko suggested. “Because I’m pretty sure that’s what’d end up happening.”

Shinjiro tried to think up a good response to that. There wasn’t one, really, because he was well aware that, had things been just the slightest bit different, today would have ended up being that crisis, and likely still would be.

Not that it mattered as much to him as it should. He wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath, after all. No, that was reserved for the people he’d be leaving behind- the ones that cared for him more than he thought they should, and that had forced him to admit that it was futile to simply try and push them away.

“And do you have any proof of this?” He finally asked.

“The past two years.” Okay, fair point.

“That… hasn’t ended in a crisis, though.”

“Akihiko-senpai, I don’t think this is the time for semantics,” Hamuko pointed out. “What’s important is making sure Shinji knows we love him and that he can talk to us about anything without having to act like an oversized hedgehog.” And cue another guilt trip.

“Oversized hedgehog?”

“What, you don’t think he’s prickly enough?”

“I am not a hedgehog.” Nope. He was absolutely not looking at either of them right now. “It is-” He glanced at Hamuko’s wrist, careful not to let their eyes meet or be caught by her obnoxiously contagious grin, only for her to cover her watch with her hand, the grin he was trying not to look at clearly widening. “-...Far too early in the morning for this.”

“To early to look up what time it is?”

“Can’t find my watch, and Hamuko thinks she’s being cute with hers.”

“Is it working?” And he’d now made the mistake of looking her in the eye, when that was the one thing he couldn’t possibly resist.

“...Yes.”

* * *

  
  


It was easy to recognize a person that knew Hamuko. Just about everyone she was in any way close to owned some kind of white or yellow flower with an innate anti-Charm enchantment, and Kamiki Akinari was no exception, though Shinjiro didn’t recognize the kind. Most narcissi looked the same to him, anyway.

He wasn’t even sure why he was- okay, he knew why he was there. Hamuko said that there was someone she wanted him to meet and dragged him out the door, closely followed by Koromaru. He’d protest, but he already knew that she wouldn’t take no for an answer, even if there were probably more productive things they could both do with their time. As it was, he suspected that his girlfriend just wanted an excuse to both hug him and work on her Social Link things at the same time.

Which he wouldn’t have a problem with if it weren’t for the fact that they were in public and she seemed to think that hugs were the answer to everything. He needed to talk with her about that some time.

Either way, Hamuko and Kamiki ended up talking about… something, Shinjiro had found himself not really paying attention and instead watching Koromaru run about. They never asked him to participate in the conversation and that suited him just fine.

At a certain point, Hamuko stood up to go get a drink, and Koromaru padded over to the bench, and Shinjiro thought that maybe there was something he was supposed to say in this situation, but he’d never been all that great with words to begin with.

“She really does give everyone flowers, doesn’t she?” Was maybe not the best way to start a conversation.

“Yes, Yuki-chan is rather generous,” Kamiki agreed, and Shinjiro had to stop himself from instinctively looking for Amagi. He’d clearly spent far too long at Yasogami. “But I suppose you’d already realized that.”

“I keep telling her that she’s far too nice for her own good. Never listens, of course…” Admittedly, she did get some sort of benefit from going out of her way to help everyone, but he’d feel better if she’d at least give her health consideration before going to do something. “Given how often I tell her not to bother dealing with me, I probably should have expected it.”

“Going at her own pace, not caring what others say… and never realizing just how much she blesses the lives of those she meets. Even the two of us, at the end of our lives…”

“...You can tell?” Next to him, Koromaru tilted his head in confusion.

“I suspected. You have that sort of feeling to you. With how happy Yuki-chan is, I assume she doesn’t know.”

“She worries enough as it is. And she’ll move on.” It hurt to say it, but… “And Koro will look after her once I’m gone, right, Koro?” The dog whined and licked Shinjiro’s fingers. He was going to take that as a begrudging yes.

They fell back into silence before Hamuko came back over, and maybe that was the best, because she would have asked what they were talking about, and there really was no right answer for something like that. But he did pay attention now, and when it was time to leave, Kamiki spoke to the both of them.

“When my story is finished, I’d like the two of you to be there so I can show it to you. Without the hospital, I have more time to work during the day, so I’ll be done sooner. When that day comes… I hope to see you both then.”

What he said then… it had the air of a promise.

* * *

  
  


Before they went out for the operation, Hamuko pulled Shinjiro to the side, along with Ken. “I talked to Mitsuru,” She started, “And she says that the two of you don’t have to come with us tonight, if you don’t want to.”

“And leave you and Aki to do whatever dumb thing comes to mind?” Because really, that was all he could see happening in such a situation.

“Hey! We managed just fine without you before, didn’t we!?” They had, and that was probably the only even slightly okay thing about this, that they’d be able to handle themselves just as well after he was gone. Well, along with the fact that it was hilarious how Hamuko tried to act offended, no matter just how little that that worked.

And it never would work, because he didn’t need the power of the Wild Card to feel the amusement that rolled off of her in waves. It was just the kind of person she was, and that was fine.

“I mean, if by ‘fine’ you mean ‘more than a week in the hospital at a time’, then sure.”

“That only happened once! And I can control Thanatos now, even if I do summon him, so it’ll be fine!”

“...You know, if you keep this up, I’ll almost think you don’t want me around.” That actually shut her up pretty quickly, and Shinjiro supposed he should feel bad about it, but he could only just add that to the list of things he may end up regretting about his last day on earth. It was a fair bit longer than it should have been.

Somehow, that didn’t surprise him. No matter what he tried, the regrets always kept just piling up.

But Hamuko still didn’t know, and she was happy, and that was all that mattered.

She didn’t check to make sure everyone had their armor that night. He supposed that was a good thing. The least he could do, if he was going to die on the mission, was make sure he left that behind. Aki could use it, or something. Make up for the fact that they’d never get to have the conversation he’d wanted, before Hamuko pulled Shinjiro away.

He couldn’t really bring himself to care right now.

* * *

  
  


The main fight itself was almost too easy. Shinjiro would like to say he had a role in at, as much as Aki and Caesar did, or Ken and Kala-Nemi, and that’s sort of true, in the sense that the three of them were able to land actual blows that did something.

But it was Hamuko who was the star of that night, Orpheus Telos coming to her call near immediately, throwing whatever she could at the pair of Shadows and making it stick. Shinjiro wondered what it meant, sometimes, that the most important fights he’d taken part in all had a musical track to go with them, but he never let himself think on it for long. That way lied madness.

Either way, the fight was over way too soon, and Shinjiro was left almost wondering why Hamuko had insisted that they learn to all fight together, when it was nearly the end and nothing could really stand up to even her alone now. But after the Clockwork God and Zeus, maybe it wasn’t as much of a surprise.   
“Um…” Ken spoke up, before they could head back to the dorm for a good night’s sleep. “Shinjiro-san? You… remember what we talked about before leaving the Culture Festival, right?”

Like he could ever forget. He wasn’t sure they’d have the time, with the full moon and all, but apparently nothing could stand up to a Wild Card with a clear resolve, and he was almost wondering what he’d spent that day so worried about.

Almost. But not quite. The night wasn’t over yet. “Yeah, I remember. Hey, the kid and I are gonna take the long way back, if you don’t mind.”

“Can I come with you?” Hamuko asked, and he didn’t think it would cause any problems if she did, and Aki ended up tagging along as well, and it ended up being the four of them, three with changed Personas, and one with nothing more than a simple resolve.

The night wasn’t over yet, and he couldn’t let anyone else be hurt if he could possibly avoid it, and nobody would ask why he was laying Safeguards if they didn’t see his Persona, unless they’d gotten a lot better at noticing magic, and Aki still seemed blissfully oblivious of his own, so that didn’t seem like much of a risk. So that was what he did, casting carefully channeled spells over the three of them, in case anything happened.

Of course it did. And due to the nature of Safeguard, he’d never know who the original target was, just that there were now bullets in his chest and Ken was crying while Aki begged Caesar to do something, anything-

And Hamuko. Hamuko, with tears in her eyes, throwing ineffective Diarahans at him like her own life depended on it. “I gave you one job,” He tried to joke, though the pain was blinding and he’d probably never be able to look at an Evoker the same way again, even if one of those spells suddenly started to work.

“Idiot, I’m the leader,” She sobbed, trying to apply more healing magic, though it just slid off like the rest. “You don’t get to tell me what to do.” Like anyone could do that, to someone who seemed at times to be more like a force of nature than a girl. Assuming that she wasn’t one already.

“R-right. Sorry.” He didn’t know what he was apologizing for. It could be anything. “You- you know that I love you, right?” Had he said it before? He wasn’t sure. So he had to say it now, because it was the last chance he’d get for- well, hopefully, for a very long time.

“Y-yeah. I know. I know.” She’d given up on the healing now, and somehow that hurt worse than getting shot had. Probably because he’d never actually seen Hamuko in despair before. It just wasn’t right. “I love you, too.”

She didn’t say anything more. Neither did he. He didn’t have the strength for it, anyway.

* * *

  
  


“I thought you weren’t doing this gig anymore.” Zen, to his credit, took Shinjiro’s greeting in stride.

“Unfortunately, retirement for a god is not very easy to work out. Shall we go? Your sister and Rei are waiting.” The thought of seeing Miki again was enough to make him smile, just a little, even if it didn’t even come close to making up for everything else.

“...Yeah. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...The worst part? Pharos legitimately thought that he was helping. Suffice to say, he really wasn't. And while I wasn't keeping track, I can think of at least five potential outs for Shinji off the top of my head. There's probably more. And that's just in this chapter alone.
> 
> For the curious, Akinari's Narcissus Flower is narcissus elegans.
> 
> ...Okay, forget the above. The real worst part is that this had to happen because of Etrian Odyssey's party limit.


	5. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is October fifth. Shinjiro is dead, SEES has lost two resolved Personas, and to top off a really bad day, the power is out. Despite this, Hamuko and Akihiko attempt to cope.
> 
> The key word here being 'attempt'.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. Hamuko was numb for most of it, shock and grief stealing away her awareness of everything but one simple, cold truth.

Shinji was gone. He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back, because for all the power that she possessed, that didn’t change the fact that the dead couldn’t just come back to life.

That wasn’t to say she didn’t remember anything, of course. She remembered Akihiko being the one to explain things to the others, as the only one who managed to sort-of pull himself together fast enough. She remembered, quite clearly, telling everyone that the next person to ask her if she was all right would be getting an up-close look at Thanatos- and no, she did not care that the Dark Hour ended fifteen minutes ago. She’d do it anyway.

She also remembered the numbness fading just in time for her to cry herself to sleep on the bed they’d shared just the night before, something inside her shattering into nothing under the soul-crushing pain.

The next morning, Hamuko found that her Persona had been reverted to just plain Orpheus. Somehow, that didn’t surprise her in the slightest.

* * *

  
  


In truth, Akihiko didn’t really want to go to school that day. Given the rumor mill, the shameless gossips, and Shinji’s poor reputation, odds were that someone would end up pushing enough buttons for him to summon Caesar without an Evoker. Which would be bad. Generally speaking, people frowned upon electrocuting your classmates.

But at the same time, whether he went to school or not should have been his choice. Not Mitsuru’s. “I want you to look after Yuki,” She’d said, her hair oddly frizzy. “Make sure she doesn’t hurt herself or set the dorm on fire.”

Which, well, that probably was important, because Hamuko certainly wasn’t in any shape to go to school, and exposing the general population to Thanatos seemed to be an altogether terrible idea. But neither was Akihiko in proper shape to babysit, even if he wanted to.

He still agreed, though, Caesar simmering at their lack of agency in the back of his head. Partly out of concern for Hamuko. Mostly because the alternative was going to school, and dealing with whatever happened there. The dorm was safer.

But if he’d known he’d be asked not to go to school, he would have slept in later until the world got less hollow. Or until he got hungry. Either one, really.

...Well, that answered his question of where Hamuko was.

Either way, the others headed off for school, leaving him alone with the dog and a field leader who was probably still asleep. Alone with his thoughts.

They weren’t good thoughts. The feelings of grief, of helplessness, of there barely even being a point to Caesar’s power when, despite how strong he’d gotten in the Labyrinths, it wasn’t enough…

He could handle those, sort of. At the very least, he was used enough to them not to break down immediately. The final straw was when, as the one he was apparently supposed to be watching didn’t seem like she was coming out any time soon, he’d gone back to his room.

Sitting innocently on his desk was the pocketwatch he’d gone to find just yesterday, but never got the chance to return. One last regret, piled on at the very last minute for no reason besides that, for once, he’d been patient.

...He needed to hit something. And he wanted to turn on the lights, because things were depressing enough already. And, of course, he failed to notice the static that had been building up in the air since he woke up and confirmed that yes, last night had actually happened.

So it should come as no surprise that Akihiko ended up hitting the light switch harder than he probably should have, a Ziodyne discharging into it. For a moment, the lights- both in his room and the rest of the building- turned on… and then the dorm lost power. And now his hand hurt from hitting the light switch too hard.

If this was what being an only child would be like, he already hated every moment of it.

* * *

  
  


She’d been hoping it was just a dream. That she’d wake up and Shinji would still be there, where she could hug him and make him promise not to go anywhere.

She wasn’t that lucky, of course. No, Hamuko was well aware that was wishful thinking, had been from the start. But it had been a nice thought, and now she was forced to face the bleak reality. One step at a time.

First step: Figure out what time it was. Well, she had a watch, that was simple enough. It was… later than she’d thought it’d be. Did none of the others think to wake her up for school?!

Not that the prospect of attending sat well with her, or anything, but she had grades to maintain, friends to meet with, actual responsibilities! She hadn’t even let actual physical illness get in the way of her studies- which, in hindsight, probably explained the mass outbreak of sickness back in May. But that wasn’t the point.

The point was that, apparently, all of her friends decided to ditch her back at the dorm. She was going to have a few choice words for them when they got back.

For a moment, the lights flared to life without her input- probably not a good sign- and then everything fell into darkness. A quick peek at the nearby security camera showed that the little blinking light there was gone, too. Because things clearly weren’t terrible enough for her to be spared the horrors of a blackout.

...Hamuko wondered if Hagakure would be open early enough for breakfast. With how badly things were going for her right now, she clearly deserved it. Unfortunately, that would require getting dressed, and all of her clean clothes were upstairs in her room.

Okay, that would be the second step: Climb the stairs. Third step: Look halfway presentable. Sounded easy enough, in theory. She’d just have to put it into practise.

Naturally, things were always a bit easier in theory. But she blamed Akihiko for that. It was, after all, his fault that there wasn’t any light, though she would have been fine if the power that enabled her to use magic on her own hadn’t vanished along with her resolve.

Eventually, she gave up on pushing herself through the outright depressing darkness and simply summoned Pyro Jack. She knew she kept him around for a reason.

* * *

  
  


Akihiko decided that, with a pained hand and limited visibility, he didn’t feel like punching things anymore. Or maybe it was just that the sharp pain was enough to snap him back to reality. It all amounted to the same thing, in the end. He couldn’t bring himself to stay in his room anymore, and would probably be best off if he were off the second floor entirely.

It appeared that Hamuko had the same idea, as she appeared in the hallway following the lantern-light of one of her Personas. Pyro Jack, if he remembered the name correctly. He wasn’t sure that was what it was supposed to be used for, but it really wasn’t any of his business, though it was a bit odd to see her with a Persona that wasn’t Orpheus Telos or Thanatos. It was funny, what you could get used to over two weeks.

“Akihiko-senpai? You’re still here?”

“Mitsuru says we’re not allowed to go to school today. Scared we’ll hurt someone.” In hindsight, he was surprised he’d never noticed just how responsive his powers were before. Let alone that nobody had ever pointed it out. They had to figure out that he didn’t know what he was doing eventually, right?

“...Do I want to ask what happened to the power?”

“That was after she left, actually.” Okay, that probably wasn’t helping. But it wasn’t like there was a manual on chatting with your dead brother’s girlfriend while everything still seemed to be falling apart. At least, not that he’d ever read.

Oh, well. It wasn’t like he’d ever been good at talking in the first place. So there was that. “You think I should call somebody, or...?”

“That would probably help your chances of not getting executed once the others get home, yes.” Hamuko was actually sort-of smiling, which Akihiko decided was a good thing. At least someone was enjoying this… “And I can get changed while you’re doing that, and we can go someplace that doesn’t feel like it was just plunged into the Dark Hour in the middle of the day, but worse because we actually have Dark Hour lights.”

Had, actually. One look at any lightbulb was enough to show that the wire within had somehow disintegrated- how many volts was Ziodyne, anyway?- and the rest of the dorm was apparently no better.

Mitsuru was going to kill him.

* * *

  
  


Once they got to Hagakure, things started to get better. Hamuko chose to attribute that to the effectiveness of comfort food. And the fact that it was very difficult for her to think of bad things when eating. And the fact that there were actual lights.

...Okay, so there were a lot of reasons that she would be more okay in a restaurant than at the dorm. Some of which were Akihiko’s fault, but it was hard to be mad at someone who was suffering just as much as she was.

“So, how confused do you think the electrician’s going to be when he comes by and sees what you did to the wiring?” She asked, because it wouldn’t be entirely out of nowhere, but it also wouldn’t press on recent events too badly.

“I don’t know, a lot? It’s not like this has ever happened before… How much does new wiring cost?”

“Enough that it’s a good thing we’re living with Mitsuru-senpai,” She responded. “You know, after the medical bills. I can’t imagine she’ll be happy to hear about this.” And, okay, maybe taunting him with the knowledge of his impending doom was a bit mean-spirited.

“Don’t remind me… I didn’t even realize this could happen, I just…”

“Acted on instinct and screwed yourself over. Trust me, you’re not the only one who does that. Does the name ‘Thanatos’ ring a bell to you?” Sure, it all worked out in the end, but there was a reason her second Persona had been considered the nuclear option.

“Really the only problem was that you kept knocking yourself out…”

“You’re just saying that because there aren’t any security cameras on the roof. ...Then again, my secondary Arcana is mostly made up of things I did not need to know were part of my soul, so it makes sense…” Hamuko paused, before deciding that the subject didn’t have to be extrapolated on at the moment. “...Still, as far as I can tell, being blindsided by things that really should be obvious actually seems to be a normal part of the Persona experience. For a given definition of normal, anyway.”

“Not in any dictionary I’ve ever read…”

“Have you even opened a dictionary before?”

“Once. After- after Shinji threw it at me, we were fighting over something really stupid at the time…” Somehow, that didn’t surprise her one bit.

“That sounds about right. But- did you actually look up the definition of normal in it?”

“We’d just started experiencing the Dark Hour the week before.” And suddenly, Hamuko had a very good idea of what they were fighting about.

“I take it you made a rash decision?”

“Am I that predictable?”

“Let me point you to just about all of your choices in that fake Yasogami. Starting with the Card Soldiers.”

“Hey, that went just fine!” Akihiko protested.

“...Shinji froze you to the ground so you wouldn’t get yourself killed, since he-” A pause, to recollect herself. Focus on the good memories. Maybe that would make it less bitter. “...Well, we had that talk about impulse control.”

The food was just about gone now. It made some sort of sense, that they’d start tripping over the conversation now. But that was probably her own fault. She’d ignored Akihiko for about a month, and then Shinji showed up and… well. It had been some time since it had been just the two of them.

In truth, even before finding her resolve, she’d stopped caring about Social Links. But this wasn’t about power, or being able to fuse a cool new Persona.

This was about her friend.

“You know, I have this aunt,” She decided, changing the subject as much as she could- not all that much, really. “She always told me to view every bad thing in life as a new lesson to be learned. I think, from this whole debacle, I’ve learned two things we should both keep in mind from now on.”

“And those would be...?”

“First, love hurts. Second? Fuck mythology.” Hamuko didn’t think it was all that funny, really. But Akihiko seemed to, or at least, that was what she figured by her Star Social Link finally reaching eight.

Things weren’t quite okay. She didn’t know if they ever would be. But at least it was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akihiko blowing out the dorm's electricity was actually in the plans from the very start of the series. As was the fact that it happened because of a light switch.
> 
> Hamuko has a tendency to lean on her powers more often than not. Particularly since, compared to Thanatos, using Pyro Jack outside the Dark Hour is really easy.
> 
> Really, though, if Mitsuru didn't want the dorm to be damaged, maybe she shouldn't have left those two inside it.


	6. The Teamwork Initiative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamuko spends some time focusing on her other commitments besides SEES, with mixed results. The fact that she has such a large number of commitments probably has something to do with this.

Hamuko thought it would have been easier for her to move on, were she not a Wild Card.

Her powers were good to her, most of the time. They came with strong Personas, and stronger friendships, and a close enough bond let her sense people, and their feelings, wherever they were. And, again, that was mostly a good thing.

Mostly. Because bonds didn’t break without reason, and once a Social Link was completed, it was never going away.

Her feelings for Shinji were never going away. She could try and ignore them- she’d managed before, sort of, for a while- but there would always be that small thread on the edge of her consciousness, sending her the faintest hints of emotion.

The threads were wispy, but maybe if she closed her eyes and focused, she could- and that was when the tennis ball hit her in the head.

“Hamuko!” Iwasaki Rio scolded. “You’re supposed to focus!” Her best friend outside of SEES was attempting to hold a tennis racket menacingly. Hamuko blinked up at her. Sure, it might frighten some people, but she was living under Kirijo Mitsuru’s literally ice-cold glare.

“S-sorry, Rio-chan… I was just…” Heartbroken. Grieving. Finally realizing that Social Links did, after all, have a dark side, in that it made loss that much more difficult to overcome.

“...Is this about Aragaki-senpai?”

“How did-?”

“You wouldn’t stop talking about him. All through September.” Oh, right… she’d done that. “And then he came by to pick you up from practise last week, and you didn’t come to school Monday, so… it was pretty obvious, thinking back on it.”

“Please tell me you weren’t part of the betting pool.”

“There was a betting pool?”

“The people I live with… are absolutely terrible.” Not that she begrudged Akihiko his victory, or anything. Not anymore, at least.

“I’ll imagine. Anyway, if you can’t concentrate, you… probably shouldn’t be playing tennis right now. Just… come sit to the side, we’ll get burgers after. My treat.”

“I know you’re not in it, and you’re just trying to help, but I more or less told my class that anyone who pitied me would be found in the pool, either drowned or stabbed with a fruit knife depending on how good they were at swimming.”

“Why a fruit knife?”

“Why not a fruit knife?” Rio actually laughed at hearing that, which made Hamuko feel a little better about herself.

“But, really, you threatened your entire class?”

“Well, I didn’t put it into so many words…” Thanatos, a threatening gesture in the direction of the pool, and a menacingly carved apple were wonderful assistants for the sentiment she wanted to convey, however.

Kenji had handled the rest. Somehow, this didn’t surprise her as much as it should have.

She did end up getting burgers with Rio after all. She couldn’t help but think that Shinji would have disapproved.

But, well, it was a lot harder to care when she was busy eating with one of her best friends.

* * *

  
  


Sometimes, Hamuko really wished she hadn’t jumped through those hoops to get Cooking Club made official. Mostly because she was scared of what Fuuka would do to their classmates if she weren’t there, particularly after what hers, plus Chie, Rise, and Yukiko’s cooking had done to that poor FOE.

Occasionally, though, it was because if they had settled for just the two of them, there’d be less people to deal with in general. It would have been just her and Fuuka, and she’d have the peace and quiet she wanted while she baked her cakes.

Since the fourth, nobody had dared to venture into the kitchen at the dorm. The blackout probably helped with that- it wasn’t like it was unknown for them to just keep their snacks in their rooms.

“So, Yuki-san, I heard the power was out at your dorm?” Another second year- she never quite got anyone’s name, really- asked. “How did that happen?”

“Power surge.” It technically wasn’t a lie, even. “Somehow managed to break all the wiring.” Mitsuru had been furious, but at least she’d managed to calm herself down before she encountered Akihiko. All things considered, it could have gone a lot worse.

“Wait, that can happen!?”

“Apparently.” Really, just how many volts was Ziodyne!? “I have to use a lantern to get around in there now, Akihiko-senpai’s in charge of helping the rest of us find places to plug in our stuff.” He got practise controlling his powers, they got continued cell phone use, everyone had what they wanted. Sort of. “We make do.”

Well, so long as everything was fixed by winter, anyway, but she didn’t mention that. Some things didn’t really merit telling.

“A lantern? Really? Is it that much of a problem?”

“It is if we don’t want to trip over the dog. Speaking of which, I should probably get going soon, it’s my turn to walk him today…” True, but more importantly, Koromaru didn’t talk. And even if he did, he probably wouldn’t discuss the lack of power.

She’d never realized just how annoying high school gossip could be until she was right in the middle of it. Oh, well. At least Akihiko’s fangirls weren’t sending her death threats anymore.

* * *

  
  


Hamuko being removed from Health Committee- because she clearly couldn’t take care of her own health, let alone that of others- seemed to be a blessing in disguise. Less responsibilities, more time for Social Links, and Saori had moved away anyway, so she didn’t see much of a point in it anymore, she had bonds to build!

Student Council, however, was not something she could shrug off- between Hidetoshi and Mitsuru, she was actually worried for her safety if she tried to quit. And she hadn’t even started the Empress Link yet, no reason to jeopardize it before it could even begin.

Still, it wasn’t a bad type of work. Everyone had jobs to do, and they did them without fuss or too much idle chatter, so she could just focus on her own job and drown out anything else.

If she could focus. She kept drifting off during the meeting, trying both to grasp and ignore the faintest, yet most powerful thread in the tangled up mess that was her mind. Neither of which was going so well.

Either way, she did manage to successfully get through the meeting, which was honestly more than she’d expected when she first showed up. And probably it was more than Mitsuru had expected, given that she called her aside after everything was put away.

“Yuki, are you feeling all right?” She asked.

“As well as can be expected,” Hamuko shrugged. “I mean, I’ve been better, but given the circumstances… Hidetoshi-kun didn’t notice, right?” Sure, she’d completed that Social Link, there wasn’t really any way to ruin the way he thought of her, but that just meant she’d have to try harder not to worry him- to worry anyone, really.

“I am unsure whether he did or not, but that isn’t what I was getting at. If you ever feel like you need a break, or that you have too many responsibilities…”

“Don’t even suggest it. I promise, barring any unforeseen complications, I’ll be perfectly fine by this time next week. Or, well, as much as it’s possible to be.”

Mitsuru didn’t look entirely convinced. Hamuko sighed, “Look, I promise, the work helps. Gives me something to focus on, besides what is and isn’t there.” And that was the best way to explain it, without going in-depth as to how her powers worked, and she didn’t feel like doing that right now. Mitsuru had paid attention to her demonstrations, she knew how being a Wild Card worked. And the parts that hadn’t carried over, well… those had always been hers to begin with. “...It would be easier if people would stop talking about him, though. Especially since they don’t have anything good to say.”

“I was thinking the same thing, actually,” Mitsuru agreed. “Particularly given… well, you wouldn’t have wanted to hear what they were saying on Monday. I put a stop to the worst of it, though.”

“How? It’s high school gossip.”

“I found the most vocal person that I remembered from middle school, and dared him to go to our dorm and repeat what he’d just said to Akihiko.” Yeah, okay, that would do it.

“...You know, I sort of wish he had? Just to see what would happen.” She didn’t entirely mean it, of course. That would be cruel to whatever poor idiot thought he could insult the dead best friend of the boxing captain. Because, apparently, people could be really dumb.

“Could you try not to wish harm on your fellow students?”

“Right, sorry…” She tried to laugh. It sort of worked. “So, have they said anything about when we’ll have power back, or…?”

“Late next month.” Okay, that was going to suck. “Still, I suppose Akihiko has the worst of it- you know he can’t stand the cold.”

“I guess so… You want to get something to eat on the way back?”

“That… I would not be opposed to it, but I fear I might be somewhat out of place…”

“Don’t worry about it! Just follow my lead, and you’ll be perfectly fine.”

What followed could be taken as definitive proof that Mitsuru had exactly zero clue on how to be a normal teenager, and Hamuko was having too much fun to correct her. Also, she had the Empress Social Link now, but that was less important.

She had a job to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, Hamuko gained her new mission in life: teach Mitsuru how to act like a normal teenager. Everyone, wish her luck, her prospects really aren't all that great.


	7. Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamuko completes her Sun Social Link, with all the baggage that implies, and makes a few discoveries. In his own way, Pharos tries to help.

Two weeks to the day from her last visit, Hamuko decided to visit Naganaki Shrine and hope that Akinari would be there. She didn’t bring Koromaru this time, particularly as, while the voices didn’t bother her anymore, she still knew how to count to nine.

This was something that really would be best done on her own.

“Ah. Good morning, Yuki-chan.” She turned in surprise.

“Kamiki-san. Sorry, I didn’t see you there at first…” How had he managed to sneak up on her like that? She hadn’t sensed him at all, and yet… there he was.

“That’s fine,” Akinari waved it off, walking past her towards their normal bench. Hamuko followed, shivering slightly from the autumn chill, which had slightly increased. “I had almost expected it.”

“You know, normally I’d say that having expectations of me is a horrible mistake, but you know me well. How’s that story coming along?”

“My story? It’s done. I finished it last night.” He gave a proud smile to the notebook in his hands. “It was difficult, at first… but I think I like how it turned out. Would you like me to tell you how it ended?”

“That’d be nice,” She agreed. “Go on. Tell me.”

“Distraught after eating his bird friend, the pink alligator cried and cried. Eventually, he cried so much that he drowned in his own tears. But these tears formed a beautiful lake, with flowers and fruits growing beside it, and all the other animals would go there to relax. The alligator never found the meaning of his life, but in a way, they found it for him, though they didn’t realize he was gone. I think… I’d like to think it’s a message that rings true for life in general.”

Hamuko’s lips twitched into a smile. “I think I know someone who’d agree with you,” She said, remembering Rei. “Even if she’d never give it that much thought- she’s not the kind of person to get caught up on that, most of the time.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think it’s a nice story,” She decided. “It got sad, but it had a satisfying ending. And… I don’t know, happy stories aren’t really doing it for me right now. But this… it’s perfect.”

“I’m glad that you like it, even if you haven’t actually read it yet.” Akinari held the notebook out to her. “Here. I want you to have this.”

“This is…” Well, okay, if he wanted her to… She reached out and took the notebook from him, her fingers slipping through his as if there were nothing there. “Kamiki-san…”

“When we first met, you said that you didn’t understand me. Do you remember that? And yet, here we are today.”

“Yeah.” She tried to smile, despite the growing tears. “I remember. Back then, I hadn’t realized how… simple it was to connect to people. Maybe a bit too easy, but I wouldn’t take back a single moment.” Not with anyone.

“I thought you’d say that. The story I wrote… I can’t say why, but I always thought you would be the same. Really, though, it’s the opposite. Yuki-chan, you help other people to find the meaning of their lives. At least… that’s what I believe.”

Her Sun Social Link maxed out. Just like she’d known it would. Akinari vanished a few seconds later.

She never did find out if that was planned or not.

* * *

  
  


Once she was back at the dorm, Hamuko decided to open the notebook and read the story for herself. Just like Akinari had said, it was all there. She thought it might make a good children’s book, actually. If she knew how to get it published.

When she stood up to put the notebook away, however, a few pages slipped out of the back, made from a different paper than the rest of them. Curious, she picked them up, before looking at the first page.

It… it looked like a letter. Addressed to her.

  
  


_ Hamuko, _

 

_ I’m not really sure why I’m writing this. By the time you get to read it, I’ll be able to tell you all these things face-to-face. But Rei suggested it, and it didn’t seem like a completely terrible idea, so why not? I’m probably never going to actually show this to you, anyway. _

_ I guess I should start with… well, you know I wasn’t in the best place when we met. I just sat around waiting to die because I decided I didn’t deserve anything good out of life. Aki tried to help, of course, I can see that now, but he’s… let’s just say that neither of us will ever be any good at talking, and leave it at that. _

_ In hindsight, when I first realized I was starting to fall for you, I should have just asked you out. Aki kept telling me that, but I never listened. I should have. It might not have changed anything, but now I can’t help but wonder if it would have. And even if it didn’t, I would have liked to have some more time with you. _

_ But I couldn’t. Because I was too busy wallowing in guilt and self-pity, no matter what anyone tried to do to help. And I only stopped when… well, you should know. You were there. _

_ That was my resolution. “I’m allowed to be happy.” It might not seem like much, on paper, but for me, that was an actual epiphany. And it only happened because I had people like you supporting me. _

_ I’d like to thank you for that. For being there, and for giving me a reason to find that resolve. Being with you, seeing you smile, is all I really wanted in life, even if I didn’t realize it until it was almost over. _

_ Once I did realize, though… I don’t think I really regret anything that happened after that. Those two weeks I spent with you were some of the best I’ve ever had. If I were to change anything, it would have been what happened at the end. _

_ I lied to you, when I said nothing was wrong. Because the Shadow kid turned up during the Dark Hour, told me what was going to happen. And I keep thinking, if I had told the truth… would it have changed anything? If it didn’t, I would have just ended up hurting you sooner, so I didn’t say anything. And, that morning, you were so happy… I didn’t want to ruin that. The worst part of dying was seeing you in despair. I wanted to leave you with as many good memories as I possibly could, so you’d have something to look back on. _

_ And that’s what you should do. Look back on this, remember me as well as you can, but… move on. Find someone new, who won’t hurt you the way I did. Who’ll support you, the way you did for me. Someone who loves you just as much as I do. _

_ I’ll still wait, though. Fighting the Shadows is a dangerous job, and who knows how strong they get? If something on the level of Zeus pops up… who am I kidding? It’s you. You can push your way through anything if you set your heart to it. I just can’t quite bring myself to let go yet. _

_ I guess I’ve found my answer to why I’m writing this. Part of me doesn’t want to accept the fact that you’ll probably never read any of it, that my words ideally aren’t going to reach you for a very long time. Because things shouldn’t have ended this way. _

_ You deserved better. _

_ And yet, you chose me. _

_ I’m glad you did. _

  
  


_ Yours, _

_ Aragaki Shinjiro _

  
  


_ Don’t worry about Shin-chan. We’ll take care of him. Just thought you should see this.- Philei _

  
  
  


Hamuko was torn between laughter and tears. Because of course Rei would think to do such a thing, and of course Zen would help her, and it certainly explained how she’d met with Akinari in the first place.

She settled for burying her face in her pillow and doing both.

* * *

  
  


“Akihiko-senpai?” Maybe the dark hallways of the dorm weren’t the place to be doing this. But Hamuko clutched the paper that she hadn’t read, prepared to deliver it to the one it had been tentatively meant for.

At least, it was addressed to him, and it had been in the notebook, so she assumed she was supposed to deliver it. It wouldn’t feel right to keep it, anyway.

“Hamuko? What is it?”

“Well, you probably don’t remember, but I mentioned once that one of my friends had a terminal illness…” Because she couldn’t think of a better way to start, since it wasn’t like there were any books on the subject or anything.

...Okay, maybe there were, but she didn’t feel like scouring the fiction section at Bookworms today. Not for this.

“...He died, didn’t he?” Recent events had clearly provided Akihiko with the right sort of mindset for Hamuko to get her point across, even if she’d almost rather they didn’t. Though, in that case, the current conversation wouldn’t even be happening.

“Y-yeah, but that’s not the main point of this, you’ve got enough to deal with without me adding to your problems… I saw his ghost, earlier. At Naganaki Shrine.”

“Really?”

“Really! I wouldn’t joke about this kind of thing!” Akihiko flinched. She sighed. Yelling wasn’t going to solve anything. “Sorry. But, well, he gave me his notebook, and this was in it, and it had your name on it, so…” She handed him the letter.

Hamuko left before she could see his reaction. She wanted to prepare to stay up late tonight.

She had a Shadow child to question.

* * *

  
  


For once, Pharos appeared right when Hamuko wanted him to, the instant the world changed between reality and Dark Hour, and everything took on that same shade of sickly green. “You wanted to talk to me?” He asked, though if he bothered to show up, he already knew the answer.

“Yes. You… you knew what would happen. Why?” She wasn’t sure what she was asking. Why he knew, why he didn’t change things, why he chose to share that knowledge. They were all mysteries to her, a checklist of things she didn’t understand.

“I do not know if fate can be changed,” The boy stated, climbing onto Hamuko’s bed. She allowed it, because he couldn’t be any older than ten, and he’d be gone by the end of the hour, anyway. “If it can be, it is very difficult. Destiny is not a flexible thing. I don’t know why I chose to inform him of what was to come, whether that was an act of fate or something else. I just did.”

“And this is the result,” She sighed. “Pharos, if even you don’t know your intentions for doing something… maybe that’s a bad sign. You should do things because you believe in them.”

“I know,” He replied. “You fight the Shadows because you believe it to be right, and Aragaki cast those Safeguards because that was what he believed he should have done. And that’s why your friend gave you that notebook. Not because he was told to, but he believed you should have it.”

Hamuko blinked in shock. When had the creepy little kid that came around before every full moon gotten so wise? But Shadows came from minds, so maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her that much after all.

“So what makes you different?”

“I’m not sure what I believe, really,” Pharos admitted. “I never really… got the chance to find that out. I can only come out now, in the Dark Hour, and there’s not a lot of chances to learn that kind of thing here. People are easier.”

“You probably picked that up from me,” She idly commented. “Just… you can’t see anything majorly disastrous coming up, right?”

“Nothing beyond the next full moon.”

“Good,” Hamuko sighed. “First Zen-kun and Rei-chan, then Shinji, and now Kamiki-san… I don’t think I could take much more of this. I don’t want to lose anyone else.” And she could say this here, to the small Shadow boy, because there was no reason he’d ever tell someone else about this. Few people he could even talk to, though he and Ken seemed to have struck up a small friendship back in the Labyrinths.

“I don’t think anyone ever wants to lose anyone,” He pointed out. “It just happens anyway, because people leave, or die, or simply can’t be there anymore. You won’t ever lose me, though.”

“Really?”

“I’m always with you, remember? I can’t leave. And even if I became able to… I wouldn’t.”

“Promise?” She asked, feeling strangely like she was the child in this situation.

“Yeah. I promise.” She hugged him then, his unusually-pale skin pleasantly cool against her fingers. Other people would come and go, but Pharos would remain.

After all, he’d said so, and the things he said would always come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zen is trying to retire. However, he has ten years worth of missed work to make up for, first. He's not sticking to abject professionalism on it, he just wants to get things over with, until he doesn't. It turns out that being a reaper of the dead with mortal attachments kind of sucks.
> 
> Pharos genuinely did mean to keep that promise. Of course, it's not up to him whether or not he can.
> 
> Hamuko's reaction to certain sensations... aren't quite the same as a normal person's. You can blame Pharos for that.


	8. An Aimless World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamuko doesn't quite know what life without the Dark Hour is like. She's not entirely sure about finding out, either, but it's for the good of the world, really.

Hamuko never gave much thought as to what her life would be like without the Dark Hour. It had always just been there, a nightmare on the edge of her mind, that she could wake up in every night and wander, find things to fight. The future, too, was something she didn’t care much to plan for just yet. Things would happen when they did, and she didn’t have a particular preference as to how things turned out.

Well. There had been one, for a bit. It wasn’t much. Just… peaceful afternoons, worrying about nothing but when the next batch of muffins would be ready. Hot chocolate on rainy nights, talking about little things that wouldn’t matter the next morning. Warm hugs, and soft smiles, and the kind of quiet life that she wouldn’t accept without some good company.

But those weren’t hopes she could share. They weren’t dreams that were going to come true. Just an idle thought, of how things would have, could have, should have been.

So when Yukari asked her, “So, what do you think you’ll do, once it’s all over?” She simply shrugged.

“I don’t know. I never really thought about it, I guess.” Nothing more than whispers, of a life she wished she could have lived. “The Dark Hour… it’s strange, but it’s been pretty much my whole life.”

Not just pretty much. In a strange way, she’d first felt alive under that strange, large moon, a hockey stick in hand and a black puddle before her, containing enough pocket money for an ice cream sundae. But she’d never say that, because the hour had taken just as much from her as it ever gave.

“I guess that’s true,” Her friend laughed, quietly. “I didn’t start living it until middle school, but you’ve always been a part of it, huh?”

The first nightmare Hamuko could remember was of a creature that greatly resembled Thanatos. She’d just turned seven, and had the world as she knew it stolen from her. She’d been part of the Dark Hour since the start, but it had, just as much, become a part of her.

Maybe literally. But the Shadow side of Pharos was something she didn’t much care to think about. Nobody could be anything but themself, and Pharos was a sweet kid at heart.

Sometimes she wondered why, if the small boy was always with her, he had only started appearing to her after she came to Iwatodai. Child Hamuko had used the secret time as a way to steal cookies from the jar, to freak out classmates during slumber parties, and to ride her roller skates down the steep hill that her aunt and uncle always told her not to play on. It was the sort of thing she would have enjoyed having a friend for.

But none of these were things she could tell Yukari. Not really. “I suppose so,” She said instead. “I- I know it sounds odd, but I actually think I’m going to miss it. For the extra sleep, if nothing else.”

Yukari treated it as a joke. And it was, almost, though Hamuko really couldn’t imagine a world where there were only twenty-four hours in the day. It went to show that you really could get used to anything.

She supposed she’d just have to adapt. Thankfully, she was a Fool. She was good at that.

* * *

  
  


“Mitsuru-senpai?” Hamuko ventured, sliding her phone back into her pocket. “We have a problem.”

“What do you mean?” Okay, she didn’t have to panic. This might not be so bad.

“Theo called.” Which was still strange, she’d never given him her number or anything. “He wants to see our school next Wednesday.” Like him being loose in Yasogami hadn’t been terrifying enough.

….Well, she supposed it could be worse. It could be Elizabeth she was escorting around, instead. The thought of trying to give a tour to someone with no sense of restraint was… daunting.

“That… did you give him an answer?”

“When I do favors for him like this, he gives me cool stuff,” She shrugged. “It lets me fuse better Personas, so… help me?”

A sigh. Hamuko and Mitsuru both knew what having Theo out in public was bound to be like- mishaps, bad ideas, and the misunderstandings that trying to explain him was bound to cause.

“If I didn’t know there was a chance of that still being relevant…” Mitsuru sighed, looking for all the world like she wanted to say no. Hamuko didn’t blame her. She didn’t particularly want Theo around their school either. “I don’t suppose you could give him conditions?”

“Write them down, I’ll stop by the Velvet Room later. I- I had this idea that I wanted to try, anyway.” Well, not so much a new idea as the reappearance of an old one, that she’d considered for a bit before discarding, but… it didn’t seem like such a bad idea right now.

* * *

  
  


She’d used Orpheus in fusions, before. The Persona never disappeared from her head, but it left her dizzy for a while, so she tried not to fuse her twice in one day, and never before a full moon or Tartarus trip.

She assumed that Thanatos would be the same, though there wasn’t exactly a good way of testing it. She’d been afraid that all the resultant Personas would be just as uncontrollable, no matter how tempting the power would be.

Now, though, when she had control over her darker side… it brought to mind a question. “Say, Igor, you can fuse together any two Personas, right?”

“That… is my job, yes.” The long-nosed man looked nonplussed about her randomly bringing up the subject, when she had already been using his services for the entire year.

“...What happens if you fuse Orpheus and Thanatos?” She’d long gotten used to Igor staring into her soul- probably literally, given what the Velvet Room did- but she thought this was the first time he’d done so to check for abject insanity. Maybe. She didn’t actually know why he did what he did, and maybe she was better off for it.

“There is no way to know for sure,” He finally started, “As they are both your true Personas. There was one guest before you who had two true Personas, but they chose not to experiment.”

Hamuko thought that was Igor-speak for, ‘this idea sounds crazy.’ Not that she could blame him, she wasn’t sure why she was following a bit of idle curiosity, either.

Nor did she know why she said, “I want to find out.” It probably wasn’t entirely safe, but… well, she was a Wild Card. Trading around Personas was just something she did.

Igor sighed but didn’t protest the fusion. Manifesting the cards was easy, in this space, and Hamuko placed them on the table.

She didn’t bother with the Compendium. She didn’t need to. Whatever their combined form turned out to be, they would likely still be a much a part of her as ever.

If not… well, she’d cope. She always did.

Hamuko knew how the fusion process went. At this point, she could even tell if an accident would happen before it occurred. She didn’t know if it was a normal Wild Card thing- she’d never asked Souji, and he was the only other one she knew. The fusion of Orpheus and Thanatos went as normal.

But no new Persona appeared. The fusion materials settled back into her heart as though nothing had happened, though the pounding in her head told her that it had gone through. Even if there was nothing to show for it.

Perhaps that was just as well. With how close things were to the end… she didn’t have the time to be learning a new Persona along with everything else.

Even if she still wondered just what her whole self would have been.

* * *

  
  


Last minute preparations were always the busiest part of the lunar cycle. Everyone had to eat a full meal beforehand, and they all took turns during the evening to nap on the couch. Weapon sharpening, dragging the best armor out of the closet, runs to the pharmacy just before it closed for the sake of handling injury.

It was a madhouse. And Hamuko loved it. Everything always got done, sometimes earlier than others, but the controlled chaos beforehand gave her more energy for the battle than dinner and a nap did.

“So… I think we all know how tonight’s going to play out,” She stated, once the room had calmed down enough. Pep talks weren’t really her thing, but for an important night like tonight, it felt like the right thing to do. “We find the Shadow, we kill the Shadow, we start trying to figure out just what, exactly, a normal sleep schedule looks like. Any complications show up, we steamroll over them like everything else. Any questions?”

Ken looked up. “Once this is done, can I still live here?”

“That’s probably something you should be asking Ikutsuki-san, but if I have any say in it, yes. I mean, we’re not throwing out Koro-chan.” The boy nodded, satisfied. “Anything else?”

“Yuki, we all know what we’re doing here,” Mitsuru sighed. “We’ve all done this before. Several times.”

Hamuko shrugged. “Well, yeah, but… no harm in making sure, right? This is the last one, and… honestly, I can’t really imagine what life would be like after… well. After. This is all I know, so I have to enjoy it while it lasts.”

The others, at least, understood somewhat. Sometimes, it felt like much longer than a year had gone by. And Mitsuru, at least, had spent just as much time living with the green, dead world as she had. It was odd, the sort-of understanding they’d all built, but…

Well, there they were. Functional.

Idly, Hamuko wondered if it was normal, to obtain a new Social Link on the eve of life never being the same again. Still, whether or not it was, Judgement was a good choice for it.

* * *

  
  


The next morning, Hamuko was woken up by a small child shaking her. “Pharos?” It was clearly daytime in a normal reality, and yet the young Shadow stood there at the foot of her bed.

...She supposed it wasn’t that strange. She knew Teddie, after all.

“Good morning,” Her friend greeted her. “You fought very well last night, do you remember?”

“Hard not to…” She mumbled, tracing a gash in her shirt. She’d have to throw it out. Thankfully, uniforms weren’t expensive- this was the eighth time in the year. “Is there any other reason you woke me up?”

“Yes, well, I…” Pharos suddenly seemed oddly nervous, no longer making eye contact with her and tying the sleeves of his threadbare pajamas into knots. “...I’m going to have to break my promise.”

He was going to leave her? “Why?” She didn’t want to sound like she was accusing him of something. Even if she totally was.

“It’s not that I want to!” The boy hastily reassured her. “And I’m not going all that far away, either. So it’s not like we won’t see each other again. I just won’t remember you, that’s all. No big deal.”

“...Pharos, that sounds like a pretty big deal. What do you mean you won’t remember?”

“...I can’t say.” For a moment, blue eyes met red. And then he was looking away again. “I’d tell you if I could, though. What I can say is… what’s coming next, you need all the power you can get.”

In another world, Hamuko would make a comment about how, being a Wild Card, there wasn’t really any need to worry about that. She collected powers like her grandmother collected plates. But this wasn’t that world, and she didn’t have that sort of unquestionable faith in her abilities anymore. “And how do you suggest I do that?”

“I don’t know. But- but maybe I can give you something to help.” And before she could say anything, Pharos reached forward and grabbed her hand.

She squeezed back as tightly as she could, not ready to say goodbye to anyone else just yet, and inside her mind, Thanatos grew more powerful. Or, maybe it’d be more accurate to say Hamuko became more able to feel and use those powers.

It wasn’t like she could ask anyone for the proper terms or anything. Until a future November came, there wouldn’t be anyone else in the world even remotely like her.

Even if there was, she didn’t think Souji would know how to help here.

“Here,” Pharos stated, as though whatever had happened really was that simple. “I don’t know if- if this can fix things. But we have to try. The road that takes us apart is going to be more difficult than any we’ve ever taken before, but using this, you just might have the power to save somebody.”

Hamuko didn’t need a maxed out Social Link to tell her that he meant everything that he said. “I see. Thank you. ...You know, for a Shadow, you really aren’t that bad.”

For a moment, he gave her a single, stunning grin… and then he was gone. Like he had never been there in the first place.

For some reason, she felt oddly empty inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hamuko's relationship with her relatives is complex and ultimately unimportant. Suffice to say, they are all much more aligned with the common definition of normal than she is.


	9. A Day For Fortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mochizuki Ryoji transfers in to Gekkoukan High, and is immediately greeted by things he doesn't really understand.
> 
> All things considered, that was probably inevitable.

It was Mochizuki Ryoji’s first day at school, and he was already faced with a difficult choice before it even began. The ever important question of how to accessorize.

On one hand, he had a lovely yellow scarf that would probably provide the perfect splash of color to his fairly monochrome outfit. On the other hand, there was a beautiful flower sitting on his desk that he had an odd attachment to, and thought would suit him quite well besides.

He knew it wasn’t normal for boys to wear flowers around, so that was one point toward the scarf, but he didn’t want to leave the flower behind, either. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt that the narcissus was important to him, in some way.

Not that he could say what way that was, if he were asked, but that was fine. He didn’t really need to know, so long as he still had that sense of understanding.

Pausing to think about it, he wondered why he couldn’t just wear both. Actually, with a paperclip, he could probably pin the flower to the scarf, and it wouldn’t look bad at all!

Decision made, Ryoji set off in search of a paperclip. It almost made him miss the monorail to school, but he made it in the end, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

It wasn’t like he was the only one running late, though. There was a boy in a baseball cap being dragged along by two girls with headphones, one with red hair, the other blonde.

“I really wish I’d listened to Yukari…” The redhead muttered to herself. “Honestly, Junpei, would it kill you to set an alarm for once?”

“Junpei-san would likely just turn off the alarm instead of listening to it,” The other girl pointed out, before pausing and glancing in Ryoji’s direction.

“Aigis? Is something wrong?” The red-haired girl asked, turning in the same direction as her friend. For a moment, red eyes met blue.

And then Ryoji looked away, because he didn’t want to make his fellow students think he was a stalker. Still… he couldn’t help but wonder about that girl. He couldn’t remember ever meeting her, but something about her seemed incredibly familiar.

Maybe it was just the fact that she was wearing a hairpin with the same kind of flower as was pinned to his scarf. Yes, that had to be it.

It didn’t matter, anyway. Coming to Gekkoukan High was meant to be his chance to live freely, and that was what he was going to do, girl or no girl. It was the only thing that mattered.

Even if, when they’d made eye contact, he couldn’t help but feel that she was very sad.

* * *

  
  


Hamuko wondered if there was something about her class that magnetically attracted transfer students. She knew Mitsuru probably had something to do with Aigis being surrounded by people who could restrain her, but Mochizuki Ryoji was an almost completely unrelated phenomenon.

Almost. Because there was a bond connecting the two of them together, and that told her all she really needed to know about where he’d come from. Even if she still didn’t know the whole story herself.

Ryoji was given a seat near to her, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he was using some sort of odd Shadow powers to cause it, if not for the fact that the only outright supernatural thing Pharos did, before the end, was teleport. And if, as he’d said, he didn’t remember her, asking probably wasn’t going to get her anything useful.

So she wasn’t going to do anything right away. And she certainly wasn’t about to be as blatant about her observations as Aigis, who was still staring at him.

“Aigis, leave Mochizuki-kun alone,” She sighed, wondering when her friends stopped even trying to pretend to be normal. “You’re just going to freak him out, being like that.”

“But, Hamuko-san, he is-”

“Not important right now. Wait until lunch, and if there’s a problem, tell me then, okay?” She turned to the new student. “Sorry about her. She’s been… sheltered… for the past ten years, and doesn’t really know how to handle people yet.”

“It’s not a problem,” Ryoji shrugged it off, as though he hadn’t been under the constant gaze of a combat gynoid. “I’m sure we’ll all get along just fine soon enough. At least… that’s what I hope.”

It was sort of like looking into a distorted mirror, now that they were the same age. Hamuko thought it was the creepiest thing she’d seen all week.

But, honestly… if this really was Pharos, then she only had herself to blame. After all, she was the one he’d spent the most time around, so it made sense he’d take his cues from her.

And even if that wasn’t the case… they were tied together too tightly for her to abandon him now. “Don’t worry,” She told him, preparing to actually pay attention to the lecture. “I’m sure we will. My name’s Yuki Hamuko, and it’s very nice to meet you.”

* * *

  
  


While Ryoji had written off his initial familiarity with Hamuko as just being due to their similar tastes in fashion, he still couldn’t help but keep glancing in her direction, for some reason.

“Is something wrong?” The girl asked, as though he could possibly come up with an answer that wouldn’t sound terrible.

“It’s nothing. Just, I…” He had no idea how to do this.

“If you’re going to ask me out, I’ve decided against dating anyone for the rest of this school year due to… reasons.”

“Th-that’s definitely not it. We just met.” And, honestly, something about the idea just felt… weirdly wrong, for some reason. Like he simply couldn’t imagine being anything but friends with Yuki Hamuko. Given that they hadn’t even become friends yet, that was probably the strangest thing that had happened at all that day. “I just… I don’t know.”

Why had he said that out loud? Still, she didn’t seem too upset about it. Actually, she appeared to be almost relieved.

“Oh, that’s good. I almost miss the days when everyone assumed I was dating Junpei- boys didn’t bother me as much, then. I don’t really know what changed.”

“You became the top student in the class, a member of Student Council, and a star player on the tennis team?” A nearby girl wearing a pink sweater suggested.

“...Probably.” That… that was actually pretty impressive. “But… it’s not like I really set out to impress anyone, you know? School comes easily to me, Mitsuru-senpai asked me for help, and tennis… I don’t know, it’s just similar enough to what we always do that I can approach it the same way. Just… it’s better. More relaxing.”

What they always did? That was maddeningly vague, but Ryoji didn’t feel he could ask about it. It wasn’t his place to question, after all.

“You could do with a way to relax,” The other girl agreed. “But… maybe something less tiring? You keep running yourself ragged.”

“I suppose…” Hamuko sighed. This seemed to be about the time she remembered that Ryoji was there. “Oh, Mochizuki-kun. You’re new to town, right? Do you need any help finding your way around?”

Not really. For some odd reason, he felt like he already knew where everything was. But at the same time, he’d only just gotten there, so that couldn’t be right.

...Best to be safe. “That would be wonderful, Yuki-san. Thank you.”

“Great. We’ll start with the main school building, and then we’ll get out to the rest of the town. Oh, but we’ll be picking up another friend of mine on the way. He hasn’t left the gym in over a week, and we need to stage an intervention.”

Ryoji wasn’t sure how much of that was serious, but he was still glad for the offered help.

For a moment, he considered asking Hamuko about the flower she wore, and where she got it from, but he decided against it. It probably didn’t matter. Not one bit.

* * *

  
  


Hamuko ignored the fact that Akihiko was acting like this was a major betrayal. She was pretty sure he hadn’t done anything but punch things since the incident with Ikutsuki, and if she and Mitsuru were supposed to cope with everything that was happening, he was too.

“It’s not like hitting that poor punching bag is going to solve anything,” She pointed out, also ignoring the fact that Ryoji was looking at them like they were insane. He’d get used to them, eventually. “And I don’t think power is something you really have to worry about. You’re already on the same level as Souji-kun.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t still get stronger,” He responded. “And you’re not calling him Vice Leader anymore?”

She shrugged. “No point in picking on someone who’s not here to defend himself. Though, I make no promises for the next time I see him. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about him. We’re here to welcome Mochizuki-kun to Iwatodai.”

“I don’t really need all this, though…” The boy in question mumbled into his scarf. “People are staring…”

“Let them stare.” Hamuko replied. “I’ve already decided that I’m not going to hide myself anymore, and it’s… a lot easier than I thought it would be.” Not easy enough to keep her resolution, but… there were days, when she thought it might be possible, given enough time. She’d just have to hope it was. “A little confidence goes a long way, you know?”

“...What if I don’t feel very confident?”

“Here’s a secret I’ve learned: If you fake it from the very beginning, no one will ever be able to tell.” Well, for the most part, but she was pretty sure her circumstances were more or less unique, even if her second Persona and the person in front of her seemed to somehow be linked.

“Of course, if you take it too far, it just ends up leading to problems,” Akihiko added. She got the feeling he was talking about her.

Then again, if he was, he wouldn’t exactly be wrong. She’d let it be, for the moment.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” The Shadow boy nodded. Hamuko wasn’t sure why, but she got the feeling she’d just made a terrible mistake.

* * *

  
  


By the time the three of them got to the mall, Akihiko was starting to fidget. Hamuko felt sort of bad about dragging him out like this, but it was for his own good, really. He couldn’t spend his entire life picking fights- they were currently trying to get rid of their main outlet for that.

But, at the same time, it would only be polite. “Akihiko-senpai? Is something the matter?”

“Not really,” He answered, maybe a bit too quickly. She wasn’t sure if her gaze was capable of properly conveying how not convinced she was, but he was quick to elaborate, so it didn’t really matter. “I mean, I’ve got a lot to think about, that’s all.”

This was probably the reason nobody had seen him out in public in so long, actually- his main method of coping with things was to punch them. Hamuko didn’t think that was entirely healthy, but repression had only ever taken her so far, so they were both messed up in that regard.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ryoji asked. “I don’t mind, really. It means there actually is something to talk about.”

“Really, it’s nothing. I’m just… confused about something, that’s all.”

“What is it? If it’s something we can’t talk about here…”

“No, nothing like that… I think.” Okay, good, so it wasn’t about Ryoji. Hamuko knew she’d have to give her team a ‘proper’ briefing on the situation eventually, but for now, she’d pretend everything was normal.

Pretending was easy. Pretend to be normal, pretend to be confident, pretend to be okay. Sometimes, she could even believe it for a bit.

“Go ahead, then. I promise I won’t laugh. Though I suppose I can’t say anything about Mochizuki-kun…”

“Why would I do that?” Ryoji sounded almost offended at the insinuation. Which was new for him. Hamuko realized that this was the first day when she’d seen such powerful emotion from him. Before, even in the moments where he was most genuine, there was always something oddly subdued.

She decided it was probably just a side effect of whatever made him a teenager and took his memories of her. What was important was that he was there.

“We don’t know you all that well,” She pointed out, and it wasn’t entirely a lie. She knew who he’d been, as a small Shadow child that appeared the week before every full moon. She didn’t know who he was as Mochizuki Ryoji.

“I suppose I can understand that. Would you like to take the chance to speak in private?”

“...It’s not really important, though,” Akihiko repeated.

“I’m not sure you can be the judge of that,” Ryoji stated. “People do not always give their personal problems the proper importance.”

Hamuko sighed. “And I’d be a hypocrite to judge anyone for that, but dealing with people’s personal problems is sort of my job. Come on, we can get some privacy over there… unless one of the blue people decides to come out, but I don’t think anyone can control them.” She felt bad about leaving Ryoji on his own, but… well, he’d been with her for long enough to be able to cope. Hopefully. “Mochizuki-kun, I’m really sorry about this, but-”

“It’s fine. You should look after your friend. That’s why you brought him out here, right?” He flashed a disarming smile, and were it not for the flower in his scarf and the blue of his eyes, she would have easily mistaken him for anything but what he was.

Given everything he’d ever done for her, perhaps that was a good thing.

* * *

  
  


Akihiko wasn’t with Hamuko when she came back. Ryoji didn’t want to say it was a good thing, but everyone Hamuko had spoken to had felt oddly familiar to him in some way, if not quite so much as she herself was.

He kept telling himself it was all in his head. He wasn’t being quite so convincing anymore.

Either way, there was only so much weird stuff he could deal with at a time, so limiting it to a single person was probably going to be nothing but helpful.

“Sorry about that,” She apologized again. “Akihiko-senpai’s got a lot to deal with right now- a lot of us do, really- so it’s important we all help each other out where we can.”

“It really isn’t a problem,” He shrugged. “If people need help, you should give it, right?” He was sure a friend had said that, though he couldn’t remember what she looked like, or what her name had been. Whoever it was, she probably wouldn’t object to him using it now. “Though I am curious as to what it could have been.”

“It wasn’t that much more important than he made it out to be. He just had a few crushes that he needed help recognizing, is all. Not that he told me who any of them were, but that’s not my business, anyway. Were you alright here on your own?”

“It was fine.” If a bit lonely. It didn’t feel strange for him, to be on the edges of groups with no real way to participate, but he didn’t really like it, either. “I’m glad you were able to help your friend. So, what sort of places can you find here?”

“Well, we have a cafe, a nightclub… there’s an arcade, if you’d like to talk more there. They’ve got crane games and such.”

“What about a dance machine?” Ryoji wasn’t sure why he’d asked, but Hamuko lit up as soon as he did, and he got the feeling she was glad he had. For some reason. She didn’t really seem the dancing type, though he thought she’d be good at it.

“There is! It’s got all kinds of songs. Why? Are you any good at them?”

“I think I’d like to try. Of course, I’d need an opponent…”

“Say no more!” The girl grinned, clearly excited by the prospect. “We’d need a good song, though… hey, Mochizuki-kun. You know ‘Road Less Taken,’ right?”

That sounded vaguely familiar. “I think so. They have it?”

She nodded. “Come on, it’ll be great.”

And it was, at first. Ryoji couldn’t remember where he’d first heard this song from, but he did recognize it, and that helped. Not that he really could keep up with Hamuko. Despite his best efforts, she just moved too quickly, even at the start.

But then he began to pay attention to the lyrics. Something about them confused him, though he’d never be able to put it into words if asked. But it was just enough for him to start tripping up, though he didn’t think he’d had a chance of winning in the first place.

Still, he was glad he’d managed to go the whole song without falling over. That would have been embarrassing.

“Are you feeling okay?” Hamuko asked him, once it was over. Ryoji nodded.

“I’m fine. Actually, I might not have done well, but I had a lot of fun.” Really, he… didn’t think he’d ever enjoyed himself this much. “Thank you… for showing me around today.”

“I didn’t really do all that much, though…”

“It was enough. More than that, even, I- Yuki-san? Are you all right?” For a moment, Hamuko’s eyes had seemed to glaze over.

But then said moment was done with, and she blinked rapidly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Is something wrong?”

“N-Nothing. Nothing at all.” Because how was he supposed to describe something like that? “I-I should get going now.”

“Okay. I’ll see you around, Mochizuki-kun. Meeting you… it was quite the fortunate event, after all.” Her words seemed to have a heavier meaning to them, but he didn’t pay attention. Right then, everything that had been oddly familiar was starting to catch up with him.

He needed some time to himself to recover. Preferably in his own room, where the only odd thing was the flower in his scarf, which matched the one in Yuki Hamuko’s hairpin.

Maybe the familiarity wasn’t coincidence, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of all the days for her to wear that pin. Of all the days for nobody else to bring theirs.
> 
> Ryoji's personality was decided upon basically by combining Pharos with Hamuko, because she was his first example of a semi-normal human being.
> 
> Unfortunately, for the sake of covering Ryoji, Akihiko's personal problems have to be put offscreen for now. Suffice to say, nobody is handling things well and he may or may not have a thing for girls that can use ice magic. All three of them. At least he has options?
> 
> Hamuko proceeded to spend the next few minutes wondering how she could have two Social Links with the same person, before remembering her Fool and Judgement links and deciding to ignore it.


End file.
